If you typically give up on your goals by March, you’re not alone. Try these tips for 2019.
- Go ahead and set them again.
Even if you’re one of the majority of people who have set New Year’s Resolutions in the past but gave up on them within a few weeks, try again. Because there is good news about setting goals, even if you haven’t quite mastered the follow-through.
According to one study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology,people who set New Year's resolutions are 10 times more likely to actually change their behavior than people who don't make these yearly goals. Tony Robbins says, “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” So go ahead and write down your objectives for 2019.
- Make sure you actually want what you say you want.
Some of the most common resolutions include losing weight, making better financial choices, and eating healthier. All of these sound great—if they’re what you really want. For instance, make sure losing weight is your desire, not something you read about—or a photo you compared yourself to—in a magazine.
If you typically set goals for things you think you should want, instead of what you really do want, you will not succeed because you’re not really motivated. (And frankly, who cares, because you didn’t want that stuff anyway.) Dig deep this year to try to find out what your deepest desires are, and why.
- Replace a bad habit with a good habit.
At the end of the day, goals are one thing, but day-to-day habits are another. An article in Psychology Today puts it this way:
“A lot of New Year's resolutions have to do with making new habits or changing existing ones. If your resolutions are around things like eating healthier, exercising more, drinking less, quitting smoking, texting less, spending more time ‘unplugged’ or any number of other ‘automatic’ behaviors then we are talking about changing existing habits or making new habits. Habits are automatic, ‘conditioned’ responses. You get up in the morning and stop at Starbucks for a pastry and a latte. You go home at the end of work and plop down in front of the TV.”
According to the article, there are three facets necessary to changing habits. You must choose a small action, attach it to an existing habit, and make it easy to do for three to seven days in a row.
For example, "Get more exercise" is not small. "Take the stairs each morning to get to my office, not the elevator" is a small, actionable, better resolution to make. Your existing habit of walking to the elevator can be changed to walking to the stairs, and it will become a new habit within just a week of practice.
- Create a new “story” about yourself.
“The best (and some would say the only) way to get a large and long-term behavior change, is by changing your self-story,” according to science.
Whether you realize it or not, you make decisions based on staying true to your unconscious self-stories, and you strive to be consistent. If you have a story about yourself that you are “realistic” because of things that have knocked you down in the past, you may have a story about yourself that keeps you in a state of cynicism about your life.
You can rewrite any story you have about yourself that might be holding you back. It’s kind of like writing a script for your own movie—you are the lead character, and the movie is your life unfolding. Instead of Mr. Cynic, moping along chained to his past, you are now your own hero, Mr. Positive, who takes new actions every day to improve the lives of others based on his experiences.
“The technique of story-editing is so simple that it doesn’t seem possible that it can result in such deep and profound change. But the research shows that one re-written self-story can make all the difference.”
- Tell people—or not.
For some people, telling their friends and family members keeps them on-track, holding them more accountable on the path to achieving their resolutions. But if you have friends and relatives who tend to shoot holes in your dreams, or sabotage your goals in subtle or obvious ways, keep your goals to yourself.
Consider surrounding yourself with supportive people for the year, limiting communication to “small talk” with people who aren’t on board. Take notice of people who drain your energy instead of energize you, and make choices accordingly. You have the perfect right to say “no” or “yes” more often to the activities you decide to engage in, and the people you elect to spend time with.
Have we scheduled your annual review? Let’s meet and review your financial plan in light of next year’s short- and long-term objectives.